Relationships

How Spiritual Growth Enhances Relationships

“If two mates travel together as if in a ship toward ever new horizons, then it is a true relationship, a blessing. If not, it becomes at best a comfortable quagmire, a few intermittent flurries of pleasure in a dull, repetitive, meaningless existence.”

—Michael Menahem Gottlieb

Michael Menahem Gottlieb, master teacher and founder of Royal Way, helps people bring depth, joy, and clarity to their relationships by emphasizing spiritual growth and personal development. This creates a sense of adventure and ongoing excitement that brings vitality and deep connection between partners.

Today’s swipe-right, meet-cute, Disney-movie version of romance has unfortunately planted in many people’s minds a shallow model of what a great relationship is. The Hollywood notion of “they lived happily ever after” may sound appealing, but in reality it’s static—as if the couple will be frozen in time in this happiest moment of their wedding/union. Such a limited view doesn’t allow for the immensely expansive potential that any relationship offers for growth, change, and movement in new directions. Also, every couple will face challenges and conflicts. Learning not only how to navigate the ups and downs, but to use them to propel ourselves toward higher living, has a huge impact on the success of a relationship or marriage. 

Love and Spiritual Growth

Michael Gottlieb teaches, “The only true test of the validity and value of a

relationship between a man and a woman is the answer to the questions: Does my

mate add to or diminish the quality of my growth? Is this mate helpful or a hindrance

to my journey of self-discovery, toward my higher being? These are the questions

every man and woman must ask of themselves in every relationship.”

Asking these questions honestly, without self-deception, can be of tremendous help in avoiding lower-energy relationships based on neediness or simple sexual desire. While these types of relationships may offer temporary fulfillment, they tend to unravel and ultimately lead to suffering for both partners.

Michael Gottlieb makes it clear how to avoid that trap: “If you want to have a good relationship, do not look for the right person. Become the right person.” Many people dive into relationships without the benefit of clarity on who they really are, what they want in a mate, or even what their own values and desires are. We all absorb many messages from our parents, teachers, priests/rabbis, society, etc. Unconsciously, we make decisions based on these influences and fail to hear the voice of our inner truth. The result is confusion about what we really want—both in life and in a partner.

What Is Real Love?

What is real love? Michael teaches that two people in a higher romantic relationship “radiate a brilliant light and communicate on a higher level with each other and everyone else. They are able to tolerate each other's flaws and shortcomings. They help each other accelerate their evolutionary process toward their higher being, toward transcendence.”

It is not uncommon for couples who attend Royal Way retreats and classes to say they’re more in love now than when they were first married; or they never imagined marriage could be like this.

In this higher state, couples not only tolerate each other’s flaws, they learn to examine any feelings of dissatisfaction or resentment that arise and replace them with gratitude. As Michael says, “Getting into the habit of feeling and expressing gratitude for your mate will create in you a being that practices gratitude in every area of life. Then you’re home free.

“Life without gratitude is one long string of misery, and so empty. It is in fact tragic.

“If we removed the ego membrane from our eyes, the sky would open to a new vision of reality, and we would discover the grace of who we really are: sweet souls living, loving, and dancing in joy. And we would be in a constant state of gratitude.”

Through the many meditations and practices offered at Royal Way retreats and workshops, individuals and couples learn how to enhance their personal interactions and connections. The teachings guide participants through an examination of their motivations and behaviors. This allows each person to see plainly whether they’re acting out of the true feelings of their heart, or whether they’re being driven by old programming absorbed in childhood. By dropping this old mental checklist we use to filter potential mates, we reach the deeper intelligence of the heart, and are able to make more satisfying connections with all people—including mates.

Conclusion

Michael Gottlieb said: “If being married brings you a mate who will help you in your spiritual growth, then marriage is a great endeavor, a wonderful opportunity, a sweet experience. If your mate does not support you, does not help you, does not assist you in your growth, then at best marriage becomes another diversion—what to say of the kind of marriage that happens to most people? It robs them of youth, vigor, and the sense of life's adventure.”

Whether you’re young or old, single or married, if you’re looking to bring greater joy and fulfillment into your relationships, both romantic and otherwise, Royal Way offers extraordinary workshops that are both highly practical and profoundly spiritual. At Royal Way Spiritual Center located in the scenic Mojave Desert of California’s Lucerne Valley, and at the urban center in Los Angeles (Royal Way West), participants can explore the teachings of Michael Gottlieb and discover effective new ways to elevate their relationships, creating deeper, more satisfying levels of personal connection.